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Mary,

This weird story appeared on the Internet a few days ago - I have no choice but to comment on it, if only for the comedic possibilities when translated into “parent-speak”.

Small town in Serbia and the Mayor, in order to promote efficiency within his administration, has banned several overly used phrases constantly uttered by the employees when replying to the local taxpayers. These phrases are obviously UNIVERSAL at any bureaucratic level - I think I heard all of them the last time I called my cable company.

They are:

“I don’t know”
“It’s not my job”
“I’m out to lunch”
“There is no money”

As I stare longer and longer at this list, I realize that in our world these statements should be made MANDATORY within the vocabulary of every parent of a child over the age of 7.

After a long day of work, traffic, errands, laundry, car pool, PTA, homework and dinner, we answer any and all questions posed by our offspring with a blank gaze, a monotone voice and ANY of the MANDATED phrases listed above.

These four short sentences will cover any inquiry thrown at us at the end of a harried day.

Kid: “Mom, where are my PJ’s?” Mom: “I DON’T KNOW”
Kid: “Mom, can you help me clean up?” Mom: “IT’S NOT MY JOB”

Kid: ‘Mom, how could you forget to pick up the dog?” Mom: “I’M OUT TO LUNCH”

Kid: “Mom, you owe me five bucks.” Mom: “THERE IS NO MONEY”

Mandates: Efficiency and Revenge all rolled into one.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 12th, 2007 at 2:10 am and is filed under Boomerang Baggage, Daily Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.