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Mary,

As funny as these stories are we all have had to suffer through as of late:

“The cleaners lost my pants, I am suing for millions of dollars, and I am a lawyer”.

Now we have another one to laugh at:

The guy who dialed 1800-Flowers and then had to dial l800-Get -Me a Lawyer.

So the husband orders flowers for his mistress and the flower company sends the receipt to his home. Wife doesn’t have a clue, calls the company and finds out about the flower delivery AND reads the love note sent to husband’s lover………..besides the obvious moral and legal questions, I see BIG TROUBLE for ALL involved:

First of all I have to ask WHO WANTS THIS GUY ANYWAY………

1. The guy is a cheapskate………he shopped around the Internet to get the best price on a dozen roses and got more than he bargained for……….now he is pissed and wants a rebate. And where is the box of chocolates?

2. The guy is stupid…even though he spoke to the flower company about privacy issues did he think the person at the other end of the phone that makes, hmmm, maybe $7.00 an hour cared about his covert operation and had any more on their mind other than clocking out and going home?

3. The guy is a liar………he lied to his wife about the mistress, and lied to the mistress about the fact he was considering “reconciling” with the wife.

4. The guy is greedy…granted he may have a legal case……….but does he deserve one million bucks because he had to come clean, fess up and show his true colors to both of these women?
I say he receives fifty cents for the initial phone call…after all…. that is where he made his first mistake.

Hopefully these two gals will kick this guy and all his flower-power to the curb as fast as the dozen roses went limp.

In his next relationship, I am sure this guy will walk his hips to the nearest florist himself, pick up and deliver the flowers and pay with cold, hard cash!! Hadn’t this guy ever heard of a “paper trail”?

This “bed of roses” now has many thorns…………and I hope he gets stuck by every one of them!!

Lorraine,

Don’t forget:

“I spilled coffee on my pants and Ronald McDonald needs to anty up!”

…and the ever appetizer-inducing one:

“There’s a finger in my Wendy’s chili and I want money, and a lot of it!”

Now, the only legitimate one out of the bunch to be fair was the coffee story because the coffee was heated up to the point it rivaled the surface of the sun, but the rest…waste of taxpayer’s time and money. Makes me long for the days of the stories about Paris Hilton when she was in jail.

Back to the Fake Flower Power Philanderer—sounds like that guy will last as long as the 3-day old flowers.

As for his having a “case” against the florists…it reminds me of the burglar who falls off the roof of the house he’s about to rip off, and sues the owners for his medical bills!

Makes me start to think I’m missing out on some potential cold hard cash here. How about I go suing all the people that started these lawsuits. I’m pretty sure I have probable cause.

1. I can never eat at McDonald’s again due to my newly acquired pyromania.

2. I can never eat at Wendy’s again because I’ve permanently lost my appetite.

3. I can never open up a dry cleaning store (a life time ambition) out of fear of greedy crazy pant-obsessed people.

My advice to those two women: Dump the guy, the wilted flowers and get some good plastic flowers and a vibrator.

Mary

P.S. Warning to vibrator manufacturers: You’re just begging for a lawsuit!

This entry was posted on Monday, August 20th, 2007 at 12:54 pm and is filed under Hot Topics, Daily Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.