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:: Welcome to Married with Baggage

Armpits: To Show or Not to Show

Lorraine,

Awhile back on The View, one of the HOT TOPICS was ARMPITS. Apparently, Beyonce was exposing her armpits while on the red carpet at the Golden Globe Awards by lifting up her arms from time to time. This was met with huge gasps of horror and displeasure by the media and the public.

Then, the View showed a picture of Julia Roberts taken years ago where she raised her arm in a wave exposing underarm hair that Joy cleverly called a picture of Osama Bin Laden (Lorraine, trust me…you had to see this picture because between the hair and the shadow of Julia's underarm…it did look like an exact replica of Osama Bin Laden!).

ARMPITS are the last things in the world I want to worry about. And, WHY is this a HOT TOPIC? Are we so shallow as women that this is now a top priority cosmetic issue?

Let's face it. Nora Ephron wrote a book about hating her neck…maybe we should write a book about hating our armpits because now that I think about it, I've never liked armpits, my own or others (except for my husband's but that's a different story). And I've noticed lately that my armpits have suddenly become fat deposit containers that go from my armpit to my underarm.

If Beyonce is showing her armpits and the 40's are the new 20's, I need to get with it and start exposing them ASAP.

Mary

Mary,

This E-mail topic of anti-armpits is disturbing. Even hearing about armpits reminds me that I never really think about my armpits unless they start emitting an odor or sprout armpit hair…at which time the heavy-duty anti-bacterial soap, razor and shaving cream make an emergency appearance in the shower.

Obviously I have chosen not to look closely at this usually silent area, so I have failed to notice that I may now have the repository of mid-life fat that you are referring to. Now I am searching my brain for an actual term to describe this ugly scenario that has slowly crept up over our bra strap and under our armpit. I am still at a loss…. this area is basically indescribable unless you have a medical/surgical handbook at the ready.

So, let me understand this………we, females, really should not raise our arms above our heads unless we are wearing long-sleeved attire? We can still put our breasts practically in the face of the public, and wear tight fitting skirts and jeans so we can be "bootylicious" but GOD FORBID we see an underarm???

No, something else must be going on. The media must have been totally bored with what they were viewing. Maybe there were just not enough boobs/booties and unpantied crotch's to write home about.

I do have to admit that I draw the line at a female underarm with hair. Yes, I am culturally biased, but to see a beautiful woman in a designer dress complete with gorgeous jewelry and freshly-tanned skin and then hair protruding from under her arm is just plain GROSS. Same goes with female hairy legs. That's just me.

Let's hope that this new "aarrggg…. it's an armpit" view currently held by the drive-by media disappears quickly and we females can go back to moving around normally, which includes lifting our arms, waving and hugging, thus presenting our armpits to the world. Gee…how empowering.

Until this armpit horror scenario subsides I guess we can go "Victorian" and cover up head to toe…either way the media will have something negative to say about whatever they help to create. Oh…the irony.

Lorraine



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